Emotional Intelligence

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I joined a free group coaching workshop through a friend. The coach seemed approachable and sensitive but also down-to-earth. When she offered a discovery call for all attendees. She listened, asked many questions, and challenged me during that call. After a few months, I felt changes happening. Slowly, I became more aware of my behaviour and how it may contribute to the situations I end up being in. However, I still felt the need to understand some of the existential questions. Existential Question, Discovery Call, Challenge Me, Emotional Intelligence, You Changed, Behavior, Coaching, Workshop, Emotions
The Right Coach Can Change Your Life
I joined a free group coaching workshop through a friend. The coach seemed approachable and sensitive but also down-to-earth. When she offered a discovery call for all attendees. She listened, asked many questions, and challenged me during that call. After a few months, I felt changes happening. Slowly, I became more aware of my behaviour and how it may contribute to the situations I end up being in. However, I still felt the need to understand some of the existential questions.
We tend to hold onto our defenses when we are afraid of what would happen if we let that belief go. Storytelling is as old as humanity. We make sense of ourselves and the world around us by ordering our experiences into meaningful sequences and patterns. It is reassuring, and makes us feel in control. Ribbon Slides, Letting Go, Let It Be, Shit Happens, Afraid, Storytelling, Control
How To Let Go Of Your False Narratives
We tend to hold onto our defenses when we are afraid of what would happen if we let that belief go. Storytelling is as old as humanity. We make sense of ourselves and the world around us by ordering our experiences into meaningful sequences and patterns. It is reassuring, and makes us feel in control.
When we listen to each other in groups, when we speak up and feel heard and understood, our most basic human needs are met. When we speak out loud our darkest and most hidden secret, and it is received without judgment, the healing can begin. There is no need to push it away or ignore it anymore; all is welcome, all of me is welcome. A welcoming, compassionate group can be just what we need to feel accepted. Understood, Healing, Community, Secret, Judgment, Human
Healing through Community
When we listen to each other in groups, when we speak up and feel heard and understood, our most basic human needs are met. When we speak out loud our darkest and most hidden secret, and it is received without judgment, the healing can begin. There is no need to push it away or ignore it anymore; all is welcome, all of me is welcome. A welcoming, compassionate group can be just what we need to feel accepted.
As humans, we have very human needs and questions: we need to talk, to be understood, to have a sense and understanding of self, to have insights, to feel safe, be loved, to satisfy biological needs, to resolve inner conflicts, to be accepted and to find meaning. None of the above can be found through quick fixes, “5 top tips,” or even “3 coaching tools.” Instead, getting our needs met requires time, introspection, and the willingness to sit with the uncomfortable feelings that come up. Inner Conflict, Coaching Tools, Introspection, Feelings, Sit
There’s No Quick Fix to Your Problems.
As humans, we have very human needs and questions: we need to talk, to be understood, to have a sense and understanding of self, to have insights, to feel safe, be loved, to satisfy biological needs, to resolve inner conflicts, to be accepted and to find meaning. None of the above can be found through quick fixes, “5 top tips,” or even “3 coaching tools.” Instead, getting our needs met requires time, introspection, and the willingness to sit with the uncomfortable feelings that come up.
I admit I don’t know much about Enneagram before doing this test, but I can see how it can be useful for some people by giving insights into their behaviour. However, if you are someone who has been on a journey of self-discovery for some time, it can seem like just another tool that tells you what is wrong with you and what needs fixing. Enneagram, I Don T Know, Self Discovery, To Tell, I Can, Insight, Pie Chart
Enneagram: Is it Good?
I admit I don’t know much about Enneagram before doing this test, but I can see how it can be useful for some people by giving insights into their behaviour. However, if you are someone who has been on a journey of self-discovery for some time, it can seem like just another tool that tells you what is wrong with you and what needs fixing.
We are so afraid of rejection that we’d rather endure a false sense of hope than find out the potentially hard truth. But how does not saying what you need actually affect you and your relationship? How authentic is a relationship that is based on an act to please your partner? How well can you even get to know each other if you play a part from the beginning? Hard Truth, Say What, Endure, Rejection, Getting To Know, Senses, Partners, Acting
How to Ask For What You Want in Relationships
We are so afraid of rejection that we’d rather endure a false sense of hope than find out the potentially hard truth. But how does not saying what you need actually affect you and your relationship? How authentic is a relationship that is based on an act to please your partner? How well can you even get to know each other if you play a part from the beginning?
When I had burnout a few years ago, I didn’t understand what was happening to me. I thought it was just stress that wasn’t going away. Then I realised, when I am stressed, things feel overwhelming and “too much." I stopped seeing the point in trying in both my work and my relationships. It felt like I was swimming upstream but didn’t know when I’d reach the shore. Feeling Overwhelmed, Burnout, Overcoming, Things To Think About, Stress
How Can I Overcome Burnout?
When I had burnout a few years ago, I didn’t understand what was happening to me. I thought it was just stress that wasn’t going away. Then I realised, when I am stressed, things feel overwhelming and “too much." I stopped seeing the point in trying in both my work and my relationships. It felt like I was swimming upstream but didn’t know when I’d reach the shore.
What can we do about this? How can we return to conversations without purpose and time constraints? Do you remember how you felt last time when you had a conversation like that? Whenever I experience that connection with someone, I feel at ease, and in the flow, I get creative ideas, and the world just generally seems to be a better place. Connection With Someone, Do You Remember, Ease, Wellness, World
How Can I Better Connect With Others?
What can we do about this? How can we return to conversations without purpose and time constraints? Do you remember how you felt last time when you had a conversation like that? Whenever I experience that connection with someone, I feel at ease, and in the flow, I get creative ideas, and the world just generally seems to be a better place.
What can I do for myself to get out of a rut? It’s okay not to know. It’s often easier to see what it is that we don’t want in our lives, and this can be a good starting point. In order to access your deeper needs and wants, you need time and relaxation. The best ideas always come when you are in the shower for a reason: your nervous system is not activated and you are not in a fight or flight mode. You can access play and creativity, so new ideas come. How Can I Get, What Can I Do, Fight Or Flight, Getting Out, Nervous System, Our Life, Relax
How Can I Get Out Of A Rut?
What can I do for myself to get out of a rut? It’s okay not to know. It’s often easier to see what it is that we don’t want in our lives, and this can be a good starting point. In order to access your deeper needs and wants, you need time and relaxation. The best ideas always come when you are in the shower for a reason: your nervous system is not activated and you are not in a fight or flight mode. You can access play and creativity, so new ideas come.
But here is the tricky bit that nobody tells you: If you are used to hustling – if you internalise the hustle culture – it doesn’t matter what career or lifestyle you choose, you will always have the urge to just go, go! The only way to change the culture is if we consciously refuse to participate in it, and that takes a lot of awareness and the ability to sit with the uncomfortable feeling of being different. Just Go, The Only Way, Hustle
How to Reject Hustle Culture
But here is the tricky bit that nobody tells you: If you are used to hustling – if you internalise the hustle culture – it doesn’t matter what career or lifestyle you choose, you will always have the urge to just go, go! The only way to change the culture is if we consciously refuse to participate in it, and that takes a lot of awareness and the ability to sit with the uncomfortable feeling of being different.
For the first time in my life, somebody blocked me on WhatsApp. I realised that I was blocked when his profile picture disappeared. The sensation was like being hit by a train. (Of course, I am exaggerating as I have never been hit by a train.) I felt a lot of shame and I burst into tears. First Time, Profile Picture, Train, Reading, Blog, Hit, Reading Books
How to Deal with Being Blocked
For the first time in my life, somebody blocked me on WhatsApp. I realised that I was blocked when his profile picture disappeared. The sensation was like being hit by a train. (Of course, I am exaggerating as I have never been hit by a train.) I felt a lot of shame and I burst into tears.
Step 1 – Notice them, notice the pattern, build awareness Step 2 – Accept these triggers and my response to them, however ugly my response may seem. Step 3 – Find the origin of the trigger. This step is not necessary to work with the trigger, but most of us find it helpful. Step 4 – Sit with the uncomfortable sensation without trying to make it go away or get myself too caught up in it. Step 5 – Keep practising Step 4. Cope, Being Ugly, No Response, The Originals, Pattern
How to Cope with Triggers
Step 1 – Notice them, notice the pattern, build awareness Step 2 – Accept these triggers and my response to them, however ugly my response may seem. Step 3 – Find the origin of the trigger. This step is not necessary to work with the trigger, but most of us find it helpful. Step 4 – Sit with the uncomfortable sensation without trying to make it go away or get myself too caught up in it. Step 5 – Keep practising Step 4.
If we learn to harness the power of regret, it can drive us to identify our values, to make better decisions. By openly disclosing our regrets, we can also connect better with others. Our Values, Regrets, Cool Things To Make, Keep Calm Artwork, Power, Learning, Decisions
What is the Importance of Regret?
If we learn to harness the power of regret, it can drive us to identify our values, to make better decisions. By openly disclosing our regrets, we can also connect better with others.
That uncomfortable feeling when you hear somebody criticise you or your work, however kindly they do it, can be difficult to handle. It feels like a slap in the face or a punch in the stomach (at least for me personally). While we are experiencing all those sensations in the body, it is impossible to look at the feedback objectively and to learn from it, potentially. You Working, Negative Feedback, Stomach, Canning
How Can I Better Respond to Negative Feedback?
That uncomfortable feeling when you hear somebody criticise you or your work, however kindly they do it, can be difficult to handle. It feels like a slap in the face or a punch in the stomach (at least for me personally). While we are experiencing all those sensations in the body, it is impossible to look at the feedback objectively and to learn from it, potentially.
It is all about accepting the feeling of fear without judging it or being ashamed of it. Just allow it to be there and welcome it. Fear, Engagement, Engagements
How to Live with Fear
It is all about accepting the feeling of fear without judging it or being ashamed of it. Just allow it to be there and welcome it.